Screw the Eggnog, Pass me the Mistletoe
by Donut Magnet
Summary: Bella finds herself cursed with being alone every Christmas, having to fend off the matchmaking efforts of her best friend. What happens when she finds she has been set up once again - fireworks or a complete fizzle? A/H. Lemons. AGUtM one-shot


A/N This is my first foray into actually writing fiction since high school (which incidentaly consisted of angsty poems and songs). This all started as a Christmas story sharing with my girls Jersey (SparklingTwilight), Jules (Juliebly), Ash (I Punch Werewolves 4 Fun) and Jo (JustJo94). Without their love, support and nagging this would never have been written. A big shoutout of love to Una (UnaRJ) who beta'd this monster of a one-shot. If you haven't read any of their work yet get on it, some seriously awesome stories!

**The Sandbox Presents: Anything Goes Under the Mistletoe**

**Author: Donut Magnet**

**Story Title: Screw the Eggnog, Pass me the Mistletoe**

**Rating: M**

**Vamp or Human: Human**

**Number of Words (not including A/N or header/footer): 14,150**

**Disclaimer: Stephenue Meyer is a goddess and owns every thing including the characters, I just used them for my evil delight!  
**

**Please visit the Anything Goes Under The Mistletoe C2 to find more contest entries --**

www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/community/The_Sandbox_Presents_Anything_Goes_Under_the_Mistletoe/76627/

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I watched the people around me scrambling for last minute gifts. Hands were blindly grabbing at anything within reach, pure desperation to get something, anything to throw under the tree. The sound of children wailing mid-tantrum mixed in with old-time carols pumping out of the mall speakers, making me long for a pair of industrial strength ear plugs.

I really hated this time of year. Actually, no…I didn't. I loved and thrived on it, the whole Christmas thing at least. From putting up the Christmas tree to figuring out the perfect presents and then watching the faces of my friends and family as they were unveiled, I loved it!

There were two things I disliked about Christmas, the first of which was currently happening around me. People losing themselves to the anger and frustration of finding the perfect gift, eventually losing the feel and meaning of Christmas entirely.

How can you enjoy Christmas if you're too busy pushing people out of the way to get the last pink iPod or screaming at the poor stressed out clerk that she's an incompetent bitch? Some people just don't get it.

My other major dislike about Christmas was the fact that I was always single. It was like some fucking curse or something. Never in all my 26 years had I ever had a partner over the Christmas holidays. It was depressing.

Sure, it meant I saved a shit load of cash that wasn't being wasted on whatever it is you're supposed to buy guys for Christmas. But it also meant that I wasn't on the receiving end of the gift giving process either.

There was nobody to snatch kisses from under the mistletoe. Nobody to laugh at me going crazy trying to erect the tree under the influence of spiked eggnog. No one to protect me from the over enthusiastic Christmas hugs from my step-Uncles. And if I was being really shallow – because let's face it sometimes I am – it also meant everything cost more. There was no one to share in the cost of presents for my friends and family. It always bugged me that I'd buy my step-brother Seth and his partner of the month each a gift but only received one worth less than half of his gift alone in return.

I know, I know, it's the thought that counts.

_Well fuck that! _

Sometimes I wanted the cost to count – or at least some effort shown.

I had been hoping that this year was going to be different. That Christmas 2009 would be my year and that for once, I would be holding someone I loved as we opened up presents together. Yet here I am, 7 days before the big day and still soundly single.

I sighed as I realized this curse was never going to end. I was going to wind up being 65, single and surround by dozens of cats at Christmas 2048. If the world hadn't imploded by then at least!

This year was going to be at least a little different, however. It was shaping up to be my first real white Christmas. Finally I could understand what the hell Bing was singing about! It rarely snowed in Phoenix and never at Christmas unless you went to one of the festivals where they brought in manufactured snow.

I guess that is a bit of a lie. I would have experienced my first white Christmas as a baby in Forks but before I turned 2 years old, my mom packed us up and moved out to warmer weather leaving me without the actual memory of a white Christmas. She'd felt stifled in the small town and hated the constant cold.

Renee also kept me from visiting my dad, Charlie, at Christmas. This always saddened me. I felt as though Charlie and I always missed out the most with this crappy deal. I was happy that now that I had relocated to Seattle, we were finally going to get a white Christmas together.

I'd moved here at the beginning of the year when my firm relocated me after shutting down the Phoenix branch of operations. I was the first level IT support person for the massive law firm, Masen Cullen Lawyers. So massive, in fact, that I had never actually met the head honchos, though I had heard that the older Cullen is one of those guys that everyone loves. Masen, on the other hand…well let's just say that I had been warned to turn and run the other way. Apparently he had a reputation of being a hard-arsed tyrant.

I sighed as I realized I had just managed to waste an hour wandering through the shops lost in my internal monologue.

The crowds were getting bigger and more aggressive so I decided to hightail it out of there and head home to my warm, cosy apartment. Yes, I was happy about having a white Christmas but that didn't have to mean I liked freezing my nipples off every time I stepped outside. I slyly felt up my breasts to make sure they hadn't dropped off before I hopped into my car.

A loud guffaw alerted me that I hadn't been stealthy in my movements at all and would fail miserably in any occupation that required me to be covert. I looked around to see a teenage boy trying to stop his laughter and check me out at the same time.

"Oh God," I mumbled before sliding into my seat and shutting the door on his prepubescent giggles. I turned up the sound on my stereo and peeled out of the car park, eager to get home.

"What's up bitch?" I was greeted with, as I stepped inside the door of my apartment.

"Nice Rosalie, you kiss your momma with that mouth?" I shot back at my crass roommate that I loved to death.

"Nah, but I do enjoy using it on Emmett's pocket rocket," she taunted.

"Eww, eww, eww! Please can we hold up on the fellatio talk in front of baby Jesus?" I exclaimed as I pointed to the nativity scene on the dining table. Don't ask me why it was on there; I think it had something to do with lack of space in the living room and the dinning table that was the only space that wouldn't be desecrated by my roommate's freaky ways – only because I threatened to take to her car with a screwdriver should she ever break that rule. Rosalie was very protective or her vehicle. She had some sort of bizarre love for all things mechanical that I just didn't get. Each to their own, I suppose.

"Oh, Alice called. She's having a Christmas drinks thing at her place tomorrow and we have to attend. I do believe she threatened both of our wardrobes if we don't show," Rosalie bellowed at me as I changed in my room.

I groaned. I loved our pixie-like friend but sometimes her constant bubble of energy and optimism wore me down, especially when it came to her parties. Her parties always turned out to be 'Let's set Bella up with an entirely inappropriate guy' events. The guys were always so far off the mark of what I desired and always ended up leaving with me feeling even more lonely and unlovable. I had come to the understanding that I was destined to roam to earth alone; I'd made my peace with that. Sure, I'd been in relationships before but I have never found that elusive love everyone talked about. I thought I had once…turned out it was just heartburn and that Jake was gay.

"Rose, please tell me she is not intending to set me up AGAIN? I love that she's found her happy bubble world with Jasper but seriously I don't need a reminder every year that I'm alone and that there isn't 'the one' for me," I pleaded.

_Pity party for one under the name Bella? Yes, your table is ready._

"Don't worry crazy cat lady; she learned her lesson from the great Christmas Party Debacle of 2008. I believe Mike Newton is still awaiting surgery to remove his balls from his intestines, where your knee so kindly sent them." She laughed.

"Hey, I can't be a cat lady when I don't even own one!" I whined.

"Yes, but you know it's your future so why not get comfy with it now?!" She shot back.

_Touché Rose, touché._

"Fine, I'll be there just don't expect me to stay long. Once you all get on the eggnog and start the groping crap, I'm getting the fuck out of there," I whined as I re-emerged from my room dressed in my comfy baggy sweats.

We settled down in front of the TV with our cartons of Chinese and started watching 'The Santa Clause' trilogy.

_God, I love Christmas._

***

"Come on Bella, we'll be late if you don't hurry the fuck up!" Rosalie yelled through the door at me. I was dragging my feet, not really in the mood for Alice's Christmas shindig and trying to find an excuse not to go. I knew if I pulled out of attending, it would break her little fairy heart and what type of person hurts a fairy at Christmas?

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" I yelled back.

"That's probably the first time this year that you've ever yelled that out!" Rosalie snickered.

"Fuck you Rose! Not all of us are lucky to have a sex god for a boyfriend," I shot back. It's true, I have heard them go at it and bloody hell, he's a _master_in the bedroom. Though really I just wanted to divert the conversation from my lack of bedroom activity as it had, in fact, been over 3 years since I'd seen any panty action that wasn't from my own hand. It was shameful, but I just don't do one-night stands. I wasn't the type of girl that guys fell immediately in lust with and I couldn't have sex without liking the guy first. I have high standards, too high if you ask Rosalie and Alice. I need a man I can have a conversation with and I don't apologize one bit for that!

"Don't you know it!" She said waggling her perfectly manicured eyebrows. The bitch was a blonde goddess; it was no wonder that between her statuesque beauty and Alice's perfect petite hotness that my plain self was overlooked by the opposite sex.

Just then loud knocks echoed from the front door, sounding like a bear was trying to gain access to our pad.

_Emmett_. If a bear ever wished to become a human I would have no doubt they would be transformed into Emmett. He was tall with a muscular frame, curly dark hair, sweet dimples and gorgeous blue eyes. Yes, I had crushed on him when we first met but hey, the guy is smoking hot and had a great ass. As soon as I realized this was Rosalie's guy, I looked at him as more of a big brother. Now thinking of him as possessing a hot ass made me want to bleach my brain.

I scrambled for the door to stop the big lug from splintering it.

"Bella-bee, you look stunning as always!" He yelled as he grabbed me and spun me around. Em had no idea that there was a difference between an inside voice and an outside voice, no matter how many times Rosalie or I admonished him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever brother bear. Now, can you put me down before I throw up on you?" I said, smacking him on his arm. He quickly dropped me from his arms, remembering that it had happened before and was likely to happen sometime again in the future. Being my usual composed self, I fell straight on my arse much to his and Rosalie's amusement. Surely by now they'd be used to my clumsy ways.

"Oh shut the hell up, and let's get this over with," I grumbled, as I headed out the door. I could hear Rosalie and Emmett chuckling behind me as I stomped down the stairs to Em's jeep.

***

I looked at Alice and Jasper's front door and wonder how the hell I was going to announce our arrival. Yes, I was a massive Christmas fan and there were decorations combing every inch of Rosalie and my apartment but seriously, there wasn't one inch of free space on Alice's door. Between the wreaths, Christmas signs and glitter I was starting to consider using my boot to kick on the door lest I end up sparkling from head to foot.

Just as I swung my leg back the door ripped open. Having nothing to stop my follow through, I over-balanced and wound up flat on my arse yet again.

"Fuck!" I yelled a bit too loudly, as I heard Em and Rose approach behind me laughing loudly at the scene in front of them. I looked up at the sound of a soft chuckle and found myself looking into grey eyes dancing with delight.

"Fancy helping a girl up Jasper or are you just going to stand there laughing like a clown at a carnival?" I said shortly, my face burning with embarrassment.

"Sorry baby doll, you know you amuse me to no end!" Jasper laughed as he reached down to help me up, his tall lanky body bending in half. I shoved the bottle of wine into his chest as we straightened up and landed a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. Just be thankful I love your southern accent," I giggled as he rubbed his chest, where the bottle had connected. "Otherwise I'd have to hurt the goods and we know how Alice feels about that."

"Who's threatening the goods and why?" A tinkling voice rang out from behind Jasper. "Oh Bella, I should have known." She squealed as she launched herself at me. Thankfully I was prepared for my usual Alice assault and had grounded my feet firmly, catching her elfish frame easily.

"Now keep your self away from my man's goods. Don't make me hurt you," she laughed as we hugged each other. Once she disentangled herself from me I was swept into a hug by Jasper, his spicy cologne surrounding me, making me feel at ease.

"Sorry baby doll, I tried to quit her meddling but you know what she's like," he whispered in warning to me. I groaned, knowing Alice couldn't risk losing a chance at helping me find my one true love. She just refused to accept the fact that it wasn't going to happen for me.

"She's set me up again hasn't she?" I groaned into his ear to which he sadly nodded. "Well just make sure you run interference, we don't need another Newton episode this year," I said remembering how last year ended with a hospital visit to check for permanent damage to his twig and berries.

_Not my fault, he should have kept his hands to himself!_

"Not a worry doll face, I got your back," Jasper said laughing as he removed my thick coat from my shoulders and hung it up in the closet. I snorted before finally giving into the giggles at his solemn scout's honour face.

"Bella, darling, there is someone you just have to meet," Alice trilled as she pulled me towards the living room which was completely covered in Christmas decorations.

"What the hell Alice, it looked liked Christmas threw up in here!" I choked out as Emmett and Rosalie guffawed at my apt statement.

_There was not a spare space that hadn't been Christmas-ised! _

Alice rolled her eyes and ignored me, pulling me in front of a guy standing awkwardly in front of the Christmas tree, a glass of eggnog clutched in his hands in an almost protective manner.

"Bella, please allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Eric. Eric works with Jasper at the Seattle Times," she said formally, no doubt remembering her etiquette training from her all girls' college. "Bella works in IT."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella," Eric stuttered out. My eyes took him in, starting with his feet, clad in socks and reef sandals, moving up his beige linen pants to his garish knitted Santa sweater before finally setting on his hazel eyes that were hidden behind his greasy black fringe. Ok, I know I told my friends that I kinda found the geek-chic look hot but seriously…this was going to far.

"Ohhh, umm…hi Eric. It's…ahh…nice to meet you," I stumbled over my words, trying to sound pleasant yet not to welcoming. Sadly he obviously thought my stumbling was due to nerves because his eyes lit up as though someone just shoved a string of fairy lights up his arse. He immediately started rattling on about his work in the stationary department of the newspaper while I shot a pleading look at Jasper who laughed and tried to intervene.

"Come on baby doll! Let's go get you some eggnog. I think my bourbon ribs should be done. You can be my taste tester," he said, winking at me.

I scurried after him lest Alice or Eric tried to stop me or initiate any further conversations.

"Please don't tell me it's just the six of us Jasper? He seems nice enough but only if I feel like passing out from boredom. Seriously, I do not need to know the differences between C4 and B4 envelopes or whatever stationary shit he was rambling about," I said, exasperated. "Where the hell does Alice find these people and why does she think we'd make a good match?"

Jasper laughed as he pulled the tray of bourbon ribs out of the oven. They smelled delicious. I snaked out my hand and grabbed one before dropping it back onto the pan, yelping in pain.

_Fuck that was hot_.

Jasper grabbed my hand and shoved it under the tap to run cold water over it, shaking his head in mirth.

I sighed. It looked like it was going to be another one of those parties where yet again I spent the entire time trying to avoid a smitten boy while making a fool of myself.

"Actually there will be eight of us. An old school friend of mine is coming and Alice invited one of the girls from her design school to set him up with," Jasper informed me.

I snorted. "Poor bugger, another innocent soul lost to her meddling ways."

Jasper chuckled with me, for as much as he loved Alice, he saw how bad she was at playing matchmaker. It was Jasper who always came to my rescue, riding on his strong steed to save the poor damsel in distress.

_Whoa, what the hell is in this eggnog? I sound like a bloody Mills & Boon novel. Next I'll be rambling about heaving bosoms and throbbing members. Mmmmm, could do with a throbbing member…._

"Earth to Bella, you still with us doll?" Jasper waved the tongs in front of my face, trying to snap me out of my haze.

"Sorry, got lost in my head as usual. Those ribs cooled down yet? I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" I exclaimed before shaking my head to rid me of the Jasper cowboy image that flitted back into my mind at my statement.

"Yep, they have!" he grinned while holding out a couple of napkins to me.

Alice danced into the room interrupting my attempted lunge towards the meaty goodness.

"Hey Bells, do you still have those Christmas tunes on your iPod? I can't find my CDs and the only ones Jasper has are country style. Carols and country just doesn't cut it I'm afraid!"

"Sure thing Al," I said as I grabbed my handbag, digging through all the useless crap in there trying to hunt it out. "Ah ha! Here it is! They're all under the 'Screw the Eggnog, pass me the Mistletoe' play list."

"Really Bella? Who the hell makes a play list with such a long title?" Alice enquired, frowning at the iPod as she searched for the list. She looked up to see me looking at her, eyebrows raised and a disbelieving look on my face. I was attempting to raise just one eyebrow but the other one wouldn't stay put. It's as though it was worried it'd get lonely so it always chased the other up there.

_Maybe if I used sticky tape I could get it to work?_

"Oh yeah, sorry Little Miss Verbose. I forgot your tendency for long needless names for things. I really worry that your first born will never have enough boxes for his name on forms!" She giggled as she skipped out of the kitchen.

I was tempted to throw my rib at her departing head except a) I embarrassingly throw like a girl and 2) I really didn't want to waste the succulent delight begging for a home in my tummy.

As I brought the delicious morsel towards my mouth, the doorbell rang, Alice's tiny heels clicking quickly across the floor signalling her movement to answer the door.

"Eddie!" She squealed loudly. "Oh my God, it's been forever! Oh and you arrived with Lauren. You two look so good together!" She exclaimed with glee, clapping her tiny hands together.

I snorted with laughter, thankful the attention was away from me and on this poor 'Eddie' character. I turned my focus back to the mouth watering delight in my hands as I brought it to my mouth.

_Oh so good, I've never tasted anything so good before in my life! There's a party in my mouth and it's going off the Richter scale. Fuck me; can you legally marry a meat dish? _

I was groaning and moaning aloud as my lips and tongue wrapped around the sweet yet spicy meat.

A cough and giggling behind me alerted me to possible witnesses to my sordid meat affair. I spun around quickly, the half consumed rib still in my mouth. Well it was in my mouth until my jaw dropped open. There, stood in front of me, was the most handsome creature I had ever laid eyes on. I swallowed loudly as I took in his denim clad legs, strong solid thighs no doubt hidden under the denim. I dragged my eyes up his torso, a thin navy cashmere sweater doing little to hide a solid chest, the material skimming broad shoulders and the v-neck hinting at a defined collarbone and sprinkling of reddish chest hair.

My heart started thudding loudly in my chest. I wasn't sure if I could look any further without having to call for the paramedics.

Finally I steeled myself, as my eyes reached his face. His beautiful, perfect face.

_Fuck. Me_.

He had a strong jaw, full pouty pink lips begging to be nibbled on and a strong, straight nose. But what drew my attention the most was the combination of his deep emerald eyes and striking bronze hair. Sex hair. Delightfully tousled, begging for attention from _my_ fingers.

_With these hungry eyes_

_One look at you and I can't disguise_

_I've got hungry eyes_

_I feel the magic between you and I_

I choked on my drool as my head spun towards the lounge room, I saw Emmett with my iPod, laughing loudly at my obvious eye-fucking of the new guy.

Obnoxious giggling drew my attention back to the crowd that were now trying to hold in their laughter at me, eagerly avoiding eye contact. My eyes landed back on the tormentor of my girly bits, his eyes blazing a scorching path into my mine. A movement distracted me as I suddenly noticed the tall, gorgeous blonde standing next to him.

_Of course, only someone strikingly beautiful would be fit to grace his arm with her presence. Adonis-like men were not meant for plain Jane's like little ol' me._

"Um, you have a bit of…….sauce on your chin," she pointed out in a grating, high-pitched whine.

_Wow, you'd really want to own a ball-gag with this chick in your bed._

I didn't miss her subtle move closer towards 'Eddie' nor her placement of her talons…I mean hand….on his arm.

I hastily wiped my face with my napkin before swivelling my head to Jasper, giving him a questioning look to make sure I'd got it all. He leaned forward and grabbed the napkin, wiping on the opposite side to where I had wiped. My cheeks flamed in delayed embarrassment and Jasper gave me gentle smile.

Thankfully Emmett had put the tunes back to Christmas themed songs, filling the deafening silence, as everyone awaited my impending nerve-induced verbal diarrhoea. It was of course the natural progression for me. However the man in front of me had rendered every brain function useless. I was struggling to remember how to breathe.

"Okaaaaay," Alice bravely ventured, "Everyone, this is Edward and Lauren. Edward is an old college friend of Jazz's and Lauren attends design school with me."

_Wow, I really need to get her to watch Bridget Jones' Diary to see how damn annoying that etiquette thing is._

Alice started introducing us one by one. My cheeks flamed even more as she made it to me.

"Edward, Lauren, this is my good friend Bella," she announced, as she dragged me closer to them. I reached out and grabbed Edward's extended hand, gasping as an electric shock coursed through me at contact.

"Sorry, my shoes are a bastard when it comes to static electricity," he said, a touch uncomfortably, gesturing to his black dress shoes. "It happens to me all the time."

I blinked rapidly, cursing myself for assuming it was anything else. I smiled as I tried hard not to combust at the sound of his voice. It was low and gravely, dripping with pure sex. I felt my nipples harden and dampness between my thighs just from the sound of it.

_Sweet baby Jesus, what the hell is this man doing to me? I'm going to turn into a puddle of goo if I'm not careful. Must. Redirect. Attention._

I turned and stuck my hand out towards Lauren, trying hard not to narrow my eyes at her. After all, she could be a nice person.

"Hi Lauren, it's nice to meet you," I said pleasantly.

I winced as her nails started to dig into the back of my hand. Her eyes glared at me.

_Ok, Lauren is so not on Santa's nice list. He may find her under 'Raging Bitch' however._

"Likewise Kelly," she sneered.

_Oh the bitch did not!_

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise you had a hearing problem. It's Bella, not Kelly!" I half yelled as I leaned in closer and signed my name, trying hard to hold back laughter. I could hear Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper snickering quietly at my response. My 6th grade sign language course had finally paid off.

Lauren huffed and stalked over to the bowl of eggnog, muttering less than polite phrases under her breath. I couldn't help but smirk but then flushed a deep red when I realised Edward's steely gaze had fixed itself on me.

I felt my knees wobble as I tried to assess the stare. The man's face, though divine, was annoyingly hard to read.

_I know what else I'd like to be hard right now._

Thank God Jasper finally broke my internal panting by waving the platter of ribs under my nose. I could feel the drool building and licked my lips in anticipation. I heard a strangled cough come from Edward's direction and thought I heard him mutter 'for the love of God' but when I glanced at him he had his back turned to me and was engaging Alice in idle chit chat.

"Jasper if you weren't like a dear, sexy, older brother to me I would be sorely tempted to marry you," I declared as another rib made its way into my mouth.

"Oh baby, you only want me for my meat," Jasper declared in his southern drawl.

I have no doubt that my face had contorted in a grimace as I tried to reign in the laughter that was threatening to erupt at his salacious double entendre. Jasper's smile dropped slightly as he looked at me with slight concern.

"Oh fuck me, Jazz," I wheezed between the loud barks of laughter that finally broke free, "you know you can't say that kind of shit around me!"

Jasper cocked an eyebrow.

_Bloody bastard! Why couldn't I do that?!_

He finally realised what he'd said and laughed loudly, shaking his head. "Only you Bella, only you."

***

Jasper finally banned me from consuming any more of his ribs, complaining that the rest of the guests would like to actually get near the plate to try them. I snarled at him until I noticed a dish of his famous potato bake and started loading my plate with the rest of the dishes.

Everyone sat down at the table to eat but as I was the last one to leave the kitchen, of course busy snaffling a few ribs out of Jasper's sight, I was left with the only seat left free. Fortunately Jasper had saved me the one next to him. Unfortunately Eric had taken the one on the other side. And fuck me if the sex god hadn't sat in the seat dead opposite, Lauren still clinging to his arm like a rabid koala.

My head whipped from side to side, looking from the seat at the table to the white leather couch in the lounge room.

"Don't you dare even think about it," Alice hissed at me. "I have no desire to be finding your gnawed rib bones down the back of our new couch. Nor do I want to have to remove the stains from whatever it is you will manage to spill on it in your usual clumsy manner."

I shook my head in defeat and slipped into the empty chair. A shudder rippled through me as I felt Eric nudge his chair next to mine. I, in turn, nudged my chair closer to Jasper. Jasper looked up at me as he felt me brush his leg. He looked over my head at Eric and then back at me, understanding what had happened.

Then the bastard pushed my chair back! I couldn't believe it, fucking traitor!

"Fucking traitor," I mumbled at him as I gave his shin a sideways kick. He just grinned at me as he popped a potato into his mouth.

I looked up to see Edward's eyes narrowed at me.

_Oh what the fuck had I done now?_

I diverted my attention back to my plate and started eating, in the hope of avoiding any conversations. Sadly Eric's mum forgot to teach him that one should not talk when one has a shit-load of food in their mouths.

"So Bella," He started as I tried to avoid noticing the bits of partially masticated food flying out of his mouth onto his forearms, "how would you like to die?"

_Ok, weird creepy guy just upped the ante to fucking serial killer with bad footwear._

"Umm, excuse me?" I said, gripping my butter knife tightly hoping that he didn't have anything sharper at his disposal.

"Oh gosh sorry! Did I not mention I also assist with the obituary section?"

I let out a stiff laugh and eased my grip on the knife.

"Ah no, you didn't. I haven't really thought of how I would die, I just hope I go out with a smile on my face," I said, trying to make the conversation more pleasant and to end it.

"That's such a lovely thought," Eric simpered at me, gazing through his greasy fringe.

I shuddered and then kicked Jasper in the shin. He jumped, taken by surprise.

"What the hell was that for?" He whispered, harshly.

"That was because I can't reach Alice from here. Think of it as a physical form of Chinese whispers. Now you have to pass it to her, only embellished a little," I said half grinning and half scowling. Believe me, that's a feat of a facial expression to pull and not to be tried by amateurs.

Jasper sighed and nudged me with his shoulder, silently signalling that he understood the pain I was going through for his little fairy girlfriend.

I could hear Lauren's nasally voice drowning out most of the tables occupant's, as she twittered on about design school being something to bide her time with as her modelling career started to take off. I felt sorry for Edward. I don't think he'd managed to get a word in edge ways since they sat down, which was a damn shame. That man's voice was like diving into a pool of melted chocolate.

Why had this man intrigued me so much? Sure he was smoulderingly hot, a complete visual and auditory package and seemed to be of at least average intelligence from the conversations I had picked little pieces from, during my innocent eavesdropping.

_Why pretend I was doing anything but!_

We hadn't even had a conversation beyond our initial introduction and when he looked at me it was as if I'd successfully pissed him off. Yet all I could think about or focus on was him. Those fierce eyes that bore into mine, like he was trying to scorch my soul. The hair that looked so soft, unique in its shade and unruliness. The little tuft of chest hair that I wanted to nuzzle my nose in and breathe in deeply. Those long, tapered, graceful fingers that wrapped around his glass that I wanted to feel dance across my skin.

_Fuck me! How had I not noticed those fingers before? So long and beautiful, I bet they could reach all the right places!_

I shook myself from my drool inducing thoughts to notice my appraisal of him had not been subtle, nor had it gone unnoticed. Edward's eyes were once again focused in my direction, a cocky smirk plastered across his beautiful face.

I coughed nervously and broke the electric eye-contact, turning my attention to Alice. I asked her where she got her decorations from, knowing she would prattle on and on about the shops she saw and her inspiration for this array of Christmas paraphernalia. Alice shot me a quizzical look, no doubt trying to figure out why Bella Swan was asking about shopping. Deciding that she didn't really care about the why, she launched into her tale of shopping and design and I was able to sit back and relax, focusing my attention solely on her.

Apart from when my eyes flicked over to Edward now and then to drink in his profile.

_Damn you eyes, don't make me come at you with the shrimp fork. Um, speaking of which why the hell were there shrimp forks on the table when there was no damn shrimp to be had?_

I could hear Lauren getting louder, her speech slowly starting to slur. I realised she had been chugging down the eggnog pretty hard. I looked over to Emmett and sure enough his amused expression and the glint in his eyes confirmed my theories. Once again the nog had been spiked. By the looks of Lauren it was spiked pretty hard.

I snorted in amusement, knowing that Lauren had no idea she was getting hammered. Unfortunately the rather ungraceful noise drew the attentions of both Edward and Eric. Edward just smirked at me, as if knowing what I was thinking which was rather unsettling. Eric grinned at me, probably mistaking my noise as one of joyous rapture for whatever story he'd been telling. I tried hard to avoid staring at the left over remnants of his meal wedged between his yellow teeth.

My body was teemed with nervous twitches, from arousal due to the god like creature in front of me, to nauseousness, induced by Gollum's cousin beside.

_I am so going need more of that eggnog to make it through the night._

I stood and refilled my glass with the now spiked eggnog. Not surprisingly Emmett started as if to verbally warn me, to which I interrupted with a shake of my head, my eyes expressing my knowledge of the change to the beverage's virgin-like status. He smirked and nodded his head; after all he was the designated driver so I didn't have to worry about getting home.

What was surprising, however, was the quick flash of concern that danced across Edward's face.

_Why would me drinking spiked eggnog, be of concern to him? I really don't get this guy!_

As quickly as it appeared it was gone again, his attention back to Slurry McSlutison.

***

I helped Alice clean up from the dinner alongside Rosalie, as the men….and Lauren….caught up in the lounge room. I shuddered as her hyena like laugh floated through the house.

_No doubt something funny that Edward said. Apparently it's only me he deems unimportant enough to converse with._

"Good God, that woman is annoying!" Rosalie declared as she brought in another platter from the table. "Why the hell did you invite her Al? I swear if she touches Emmett's arm one more time I'm going to tear hers from her shoulder and shove it where the sun don't shine!"

"I am so, so sorry! She was never this annoying during class," Alice apologised, looking rather regretful for thrusting her into our world.

"Yeah well I think you'll have to apologise long and hard to Edward. She's trying desperately hard to sink her talons into him," Rose retorted.

"Uh, I don't think he's actually resisting that Rosalie, he may in fact be considering a thank you gift basket for Alice," I suggested, trying hard to keep the envious tone from my voice.

"Not a chance, Edward doesn't seem the type to entertain someone who's obviously a money-hungry leech," Rosalie stated before walking out to join the boys.

I let the statement sink in, wondering what Rosalie meant. Before I could start analysing everything Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me out into the lounge room, begging me to be social. I felt like tripping the pixie to get back at her for the Eric setup. I hauled in my inner bitch and let it slide. For the time being.

My eyes narrowed as I saw Edward standing at the sound system, his fingers deftly sweeping across my iPod. Part of me felt enraged and yet curious that he would be examining my play lists. The other part of me reasoned that he would not know it belonged to me and was just looking for a new song.

_Bite me, reasonable part. I'd rather pretend he's trying to look into my musical soul._

I saw Lauren standing hesitantly near the almost empty bowl of eggnog, swaying slightly and I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of the music. I sighed as greasy hair invaded my eye line, disappointed that my stealthy avoidance had been all too brief. I winced as his breath assaulted my face strangely smelling like pizza. God knows why! Suddenly a plan formed in my mind. It wasn't a particularly brilliant plan, I was never one for those and I just hoped that I could pull it off.

"So Eric, I hear Lauren has a rather morbid curiosity of all things death-related," I started, my smile growing as I saw a spark in his eyes.

"Maybe you should regale her with some tales of how people have died recently?" I winced at the lameness of the statement, hoping Eric would take the bait. "She's not one for a lot of fluff so maybe cut to the chase about writing it and just talk about the how's and the who's?"

I knew he had written about a few prominent politicians and celebrities passing, from our earlier conversation. It was probably the only part I actually paid any attention to. It was kind of interesting all the scandal that went on in Seattle unbeknownst to most of its residents.

Eric looked a little unsure as I nodded my head in agreement with my own words. A smile spread across his face as he considered my statement.

Before I could carry on with the conversation, Jasper pulled Eric aside to ask him a work related question. I took the moment to execute part b of my plan and sidled up to the now obviously drunk hyena.

"Wow, that Eric is something!" I said, desperately trying to hold back a snort of laughter. "Looking at him you'd never know he was loaded, let alone a doctor to celebrities."

I internally smirked as Lauren's face turned from annoyance at my presence to intrigue and perhaps, glee? I could see the wheels turning in her head (ever so slowly no doubt) so I carried on with the plan.

"He's such a sweetheart too. I bet he'll be showering me with expensive gifts if I go home with him tonight. Oh and he's so humble too, hates talking about being an amazing doctor but the tales he can tell you about well known people's demise, is better than reading a trashy mag!" I lied succinctly.

_Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Again._

I watched as Lauren's glassy eyes tightened, a competitive look creeping over them.

_Success!_

Just as I was about to continue with the sales pitch of Eric the doctor, Jasper wandered over. Lauren mumbled something that could have been an 'excuse me' but sounded like a 'screw me' and headed over to where Eric was standing.

"Baby doll, what on earth are you up to? I can see the evil gleam in your eyes clearer than you can see Alice's Christmas lights from out of space," Jasper questioned, looking at me with those all-knowing eyes.

"Nothing, nothing," I responded, "just trying to be social. You know me, ever the social butterfly." I gave him a smug grin and raised my eyebrows, daring him to probe further. He sighed and shook his head, wisely deciding not to involve himself in the harebrained scheme he was probably sure I was cooking up.

"By the way Jazz, why the hell is your buddy scrutinising my iPod's contents?" I questioned in a low voice, not wanting to be overhead by the hot offender.

"Jesus Bella! Edward's just probably looking to choose a new song. I'm pretty sure this is the third time _Jingle Bell Rock_ has played in the past 20 minutes. Must you analyse everything?" Jasper exclaimed.

"Hey, have you ever realised that to 'analyse' you have to do 'anal' first?" I shot back, smirking suggestively.

A loud laugh brought my attention to Emmett who had wandered over to us.

"I'm worried that statements like that from you cease to shock me any more Bella-bee." He laughed. "I think you're even worse than I am!"

"Shit, I think you're right Em! God knows what else goes on in that twisted mind of hers." Jasper agreed.

"Oi you two, stop double teaming me!" I complained, before realising what I had said and bursting into laughter.

They both joined me before Emmett turned and pointed at me.

"See, that there is a perfect example!" He said laughing.

Just then the music changed. _White Christmas_ filtered through the air.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know_

_Where the treetops glisten,_

_And children listen_

_To hear sleigh bells in the snow_

I felt my heart start racing and my knees go shaky. Not because Edward had managed to pick my all-time favourite carol but because the voice that was filtering through my ears was not Bing's soulful crooning. No, it was the chocolate velvet of Edward's voice that had enraptured me. It was like musical sin to my ears.

I gasped and spun to look at him. He was staring intently at the Christmas tree, his fingers skimming across a gold bauble. I bit my lip as I held myself back from ripping off my clothes and jumping him in front of everybody. Edward turned at the sound of my intake of air. I turned as his eyes connected with mine not wanting him to see the lust in them

"Alice, where did you put my bag? I need to, umm, check my phone for messages," I asked, trying to find an excuse to put some distance between me and the man responsible for my lady bits trying to disrobe me without the use of my hands.

"Oh, I put everyone's stuff up in the guest bedroom. Were you waiting on a call tonight?" she asked looking at me confused knowing that all my friends were here.

_Damn, nothing gets past the pixie._

"Oh, um, Charlie mentioned something about calling…." I trailed off as I high-tailed it out of there.

I sighed as I walked into the dark room, closing the door softly on the festive noise from downstairs. I walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains, allowing gentle moonlight to filter through the room.

Movement outside caught my eye, causing a big grin to spread over my face.

"It's snowing," I whispered in awe. "Looks like it'll be a white Christmas."

"That it does Miss Swan, that it does." A velvet voice floated from the doorway.

I froze on the spot, a shiver rolling its way down my back. If the voice wasn't recognizable then the electricity sparking in my veins would have given away the intruder's identity.

_Edward. Fuck._

I stood still, unsure of what to do and finding myself annoyingly mute. Normally my sarcastic mouth would have shot something out to break the tension but between it and my brain, I couldn't say a goddamn word.

Warm breath on the back of my neck alerted me to his closeness, his movements in the room silent.

_Like a mountain lion stalking his prey_.

His cinnamon spice scent swirled around me, intoxicating me, relaxing me as I felt the heat from his body ghosting my back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a soft voice, barely above a whisper.

"You left my field of vision Bella; I didn't like not being able to see you. You know you are utterly mesmerising, don't you?"

I shook my head in protest; plain doesn't capture the attention of men like Edward.

"From the first moment I laid eyes on you Bella I wanted to capture those plump pink lips with my own. My hands wanted to test the silkiness of your hair and follow every goddamn sexy curve of your body." His breath tickled my neck as his mouth hovered near my ear. "You are breathtaking Miss Swan, I can't keep away from you anymore."

With that his tongue darted out and traced the outer shell of my ear. A soft moan slipped from my lips before I could stop it. Suddenly his hands wrapped themselves around my arms, caressing up and down as the electricity pulsed between us.

"Damn those shoes," I muttered wryly.

"It's not the shoes Bella," he replied with a soft chuckle, "it's us."

With that he pressed his body against my back. My moan was louder this time as I melted back into him, feeling every hard plane of his chest through the thinness of my dress and his sweater. I sucked in a deep breath as I felt the hardness and size of his erection press against the top of my arse.

_Fuck me he's packing down there, what did he do, smuggle in a salami to the party? Oh, now you find the sarcasm. Thanks for the inappropriate timing._

My internal ramblings were cut short as I felt his lips press against my neck, just below my ear.

"Oh Miss Swan, if only you knew how long I've waited to feel you in my arms like this. The taste of your skin is divine; I can't wait until I taste the rest of you."

I groaned at his words, thankful for his embrace as my legs weakened.

"Once I finish tasting you I'm going to have you right here on this bed with all your friends enjoying the party downstairs, oblivious to your ecstasy as you scream my name repeatedly," he taunted me, his voice reverberating down my body, straight between my legs.

He spun me around and placed his mouth forcefully onto mine. I groaned as I felt his soft lips wrap themselves around mine. He tasted like he smelt. All cinnamon, spice and pure man. Edward ran his tongue along my bottom lip, teasing my mouth open before plunging it inside.

After what felt like a blissful eternity he pulled back slightly, his striking green eyes searching mine. The moonlight made his skin almost glow, highlighting the angles of his jaw and cheekbones.

_God, he's so beautiful!_

"Please Bella, please tell me you want this?" He demanded, the assertive tone doing nothing to help the dampness that had steadily been growing between my thighs since his arrival in the room.

"I……..I've never done this kind of thing before," I quietly stuttered out. "But I can't think of anything I want more."

His face lost the hint of disappointment that had graced it with my first statement, suddenly alive with a crooked smile. I didn't think it was possible but he looked even more handsome in his joy.

He pulled me tight against his body, our forms perfectly melded together. His hands found purchase in my hair, twisting themselves in my long chestnut locks.

"God, so silky," he whispered as he gently tugged on my hair, pulling my head back and exposing my neck to him.

I gasped as his mouth descended on the delicate skin, his teeth gently nipping before soothing it with his tongue. I ran my hands up his back and into his own hair, groaning as the softness tickled my palms. Using his own move I tugged his head back and stroked my tongue along the expanse of his neck, nibbling on his jaw and Adam's apple. He tasted even better than he smelt; I would never tire of feasting on his skin.

I yelped as I felt myself falling backwards. I had been so lost in Edward I hadn't even noticed him manoeuvring us closer to the bed, positioning us so it was behind me. A giggle escaped my lips as I realised I was lying across everyone's jackets. Edward quirked an eyebrow, wondering what had amused me so much.

"I don't think anyone would appreciate us involving their coats in what _is_ about to happen here," I whispered through my giggles, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere humming around us.

"I don't know baby, I think Eric would jizz in his pants if he knew you'd been naked and spread eagled across his jacket," Edward growled lowly.

A frown crossed both of our faces before we launched into action, pulling the jackets and purses from the bed onto the floor before Edward lowered me back down. He nestled his strong body between my thighs, simultaneous moans leaving our lips at the contact.

His mouth reclaimed mine, our tongues meeting and dancing together, tasting each other. My hands roamed over his back, his cashmere sweater almost as soft as his hair. Unable to resist any longer I slipped my hands under the material, my fingertips trailing delicately across the warm skin of his back. I could feel his muscles twitching at the electricity that coursed between us.

Edward had one hand firmly under my neck, his fingers playing with the locks of my hair. The other hand was caressing my face, mapping out its contours. He trailed a fingertip along my jaw and down my neck, before settling his palm above my pounding heart. He pulled back, his eyes burning with need as he felt the thrumming under his hand. A smug smirk graced his face in silent acknowledgement that he was responsible for its out of control beating.

His hand continued its journey, brushing gently across my breast and ribs. My breathing hitched as I felt my nipples tighten in response to the light pressure through the layers. I worried that actually feeling his skin on mine might cause me to burst into flames.

Edward gently tugged at my jumper to garner my attention, silently requesting permission to proceed. I raised my arms over my head and nodded, holding my breath as he shifted onto his knees. He pulled my jumper off swiftly, taking my tank top with it and leaving me exposed in just my bra.

Edward snorted as he took in the sight of me. A brief moment of panic and self consciousness settled in before he spoke quickly, obviously seeing my distressed expression.

"Fuck, I never thought I would be so jealous of a jolly fat man before in my life," he laughed. I giggled as I realised I was wearing my Santa print underwear set. My body relaxed from its momentary tension.

"Wow, if you're jealous now I'm not sure how you'll cope in a few minutes," I replied cheekily.

A low growl rumbled through his chest sending a tingling sensation through my body. He grew impatient as his hands moved to the waistband of my jeans, deftly popping the button and dragging down the zipper. He took of my ballet flats before rising and tugging my jeans forcefully off my legs. I leaned up on my elbows so I could watch his expression.

"Bloody jolly red fucker," he growled seeing my pussy clad with the Santa print.

My chuckles died out as his fingers slid under the sides of the panties before he ripped the material cleanly from my body.

"Hey, they were my favourite festive set!" I accused, torn between feeling saddened by their loss and enflamed from the animalistic response they caused in Edward.

"The only face that is going to be pressed against that pussy is mine," he stated possessively.

I whimpered at the possessiveness in his voice, shocked that instead of inciting concern or fear it made me feel pleased, needed and wanted. My hips bucked in response, needing to feel him where I wanted him the most.

"Easy honey, good things cum to those who wait," he teased.

He placed his legs on either side of my legs, effectively pinning them as he kneeled over me. His hands reached under my back as I was still propped up on my arms. He made quick work of the clasp, his fingers skimming along my shoulders and upper arms as he eased the bra down. I laid back so he could free it from my arms.

In the dim light of the room I watch his eyes darken as he took in the creamy flesh of my breasts. My nipples tightened further under his hungry gaze, aching with need to be touched.

"God, you're beautiful," he said in an awed tone.

I felt myself blush as I watched him admire me, still fully clothed himself.

"And now the picture is complete," he whispered before giving my breasts the attention they had been begging for.

His beautiful fingers caressed the delicate skin, taking their generous weight into his palms. He kneaded them gently, his fingers tracing the outside ring of my nipples before pinching and tugging on them.

Noises babbled from my mouth as I bathed in the glorious sensations. My hands running up and down his strong forearms.

"More, God, please more." I should have felt shame to be begging for more attention but all I felt was a desire that needed to be sated.

"Your wish, m'lady," Edward replied cockily before capturing a nipple between his lips.

I sighed in pleasure, arching my back trying to get closer to his mouth. His lips nipped at the aching bud before swirling his tongue around it, taunting it, teasing it. He placed open mouthed kisses on the firm flesh. I shivered as he hit the sensitive spot at the curve where my breast met my ribs. I could feel his mouth move into a smile against my skin before his tongue darted out and tickled the flesh.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed loudly as my body trembled under the intense sensation.

"Not yet baby, not yet."

_Cocky bastard._

He switched to the other breast and repeated his ministrations, his hand caressing and tugging, where his mouth had been only moments before.

I slid my hands into his hair and tugged him downwards, desperate to have his talented mouth where I ached the most.

His hands caressed down my sides, his fingers sliding against the soft skin. The soft flesh of his lips nibbled and bit their way down the taut skin of my torso. His tongue darted out at intervals, tasting and leaving wet trails of want behind. I gasped then giggled as he dipped into my belly button, before moaning as I felt the sensation in my groin as if the two were linked.

Edward lifted one of my legs onto his shoulder, turning to kiss the inside of my knee. The slight scratch of his five o'clock shadow a distinct contrast to the softness of his lips. My hands left his hair and clutched the bedspread tightly, my hips rocking up of their own accord trying to draw his focus.

A whimper escaped me as I felt him press delicate kisses against the bare skin of my pussy before running his tongue along my slit.

"Such a beautiful cunt," he whispered in awe, his warm breath tickling my damp skin, "so wet and ready."

I moaned as his tongue delved between my folds tasting me. He groaned as my nectar flooded his mouth, the vibrations setting off sparks within me.

"Shit, I've never tasted anything so good in my life. I could survive just eating your beautiful pussy every day," he moaned before lowering his head back down.

His tongue circled my clit before laying flat over it. The pressure sending warmth through my body, my veins felt like were circulating lava. Edward suckled on my clit, his teeth gently nipping at the sensitive nub. I gasped as I felt two of those beautiful fingers enter me. They were so long I could feel them reach deep inside me.

I whimpered as he drew them out then slammed them back inside me.

_Fuck, I'm not going to last long if he keeps this up_.

As if reading my mind he repeated the move, varying the pace and depth of his fingers. His mouth continued its lazy feast on my clit. My head thrashed from side to side as I moaned in delight and agony, feeling the coil in my abdomen tighten and the warmth start to spread. I could feel my muscles start to tighten around his fingers. Edward felt it too as he increased the pressure of his tongue against me.

His fingers curled inside me, as he tapped against that sweet spot sending explosions of ecstasy through my body.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted as I felt the coil snap and my orgasm crashed through me.

"Ungh, Edward!" I yelped as my back arched off the bed, my whole body trembled as I came hard on his hand.

Edward slowed his tongue and fingers, easing me down from the height of my orgasm. Mini orgasms still rolled through me as he continued tapping my sweet spot.

My limbs felt like jelly as I melted into the mattress.

Edward raised himself up on his knees, that gorgeous smirk firmly on his face. His pink tongue darted out to swipe at his lips.

"Mine," I growled at him before fisting his jumper and pulling him down onto my body. His eyes widened in surprised. I pressed my mouth hungrily against his, sucking my juices of his lips. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and groaned at the taste of me combined with him. Finally needing air, we pulled apart panting.

"Fuck Bella, that was the hottest thing I have ever seen," Edward moaned.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, handsome, I replied teasingly.

He shifted his body and I groaned at the feeling of his hard erection pressing against my thigh through the material of his pants. His soft jumper caressed my aching, sensitive chest.

I slipped my hand between us and palmed his cock through his pants. He was so hard, firm and long. I couldn't wait to feel him inside me.

"You are far to overdressed," I complained in a hoarse whisper.

"Well let's remedy that, shall we?"

I snorted in response.

_As if he needed to ask!_

He grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head, revealing the solid planes of his chest. His muscles were defined and contoured, yet still slender and toned. There was nothing sexy about over bulked men but Edward was perfect. His pale skin revealed the smattering of reddish brown chest hair that had been taunting me all night.

I ran my hands cross his chest, my fingers weaving through the hair and occasionally tugging at it. Edward's head lolled backwards as he moaned in appreciation. My fingers discovered the lines and strength of his chest, before running down his toned stomach. I felt the muscles clench under my fingertips. I grinned, pleased that he responded the same as I did to his touch.

My hands finally reached the trail of hair that disappeared into the pants that hung low on his hips. I sighed as I knotted my fingers in his happy trail, my nails lightly scratching at his skin. I quietly giggled as he bucked his hips, his face showing a mix of delight and impatience. I removed my hands and laughed out loud as he whimpered at their loss.

_I, Bella Swan, just made this sex god whimper. Fuck. Me._

I dragged my nails down either side off his abdomen, following the v until I reached his belt. I tickled back and forth over his waistband, sliding my fingers beneath it now and then to continue the torment.

Finally growing impatient myself, I slid open the buckle and popped the button on his pants. I suppressed a groan as my knuckles pressed over his erection as I lowered the zipper. Edward did not. His eyes closed as he lost himself to my touch. Once his fly was open my hand delved under the material of his underwear, boxer briefs I guessed from what I could see. I hadn't gone very far before my fingers grazed the head of his cock, wetness already leaking from the slit.

A shudder rocked through Edward's body at the contact. I spread the wetness over the head with my fingertips before I ran them down his taut shaft. He hissed as I wrapped my hand firmly around his hardness. I slowly pumped my hand up and down his throbbing cock, revelling in the feel of his silky skin and hardness.

I drew my hand out of his pants to his whimpered protests. I tugged at the sides of his pants.

"Off!" I ordered, desperate to see him in all his naked glory.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, a cocksure grin on his face.

Edward moved off the bed, his jeans sliding easily of his legs. I licked my lips as I took in the view of this gorgeous man clad only in boxer shorts. His thighs were solid and strong, like those of a runner. His hips narrow, flaunting the v muscle of his abdomen. My eyes focused on the scrap of material struggling to contain him. It was too much torment.

Quickly and gracefully, shocking both of us, I raised myself onto my knees and dragged his boxers down to his knees. His cock bounced freely in front of my face, teasing me. Before he could blink my hands found purchase on the firm round cheeks of his arse and my tongue flicked across the head of his cock. I felt the shudder ripple through his body.

I moaned. "God, you taste good, now it's my turn."

I regretfully released one of the firm mounds from my grasp and ran it along his hip until it reached the sinful patch of hair. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock as he let out a sigh of relief. I peered up at him through my lashes and smirked as I saw a look of anticipation on his face. His emerald eyes bore into mine, reflecting their hunger. Keeping our eyes locked I bent forward again and took the head of his cock into my mouth, my tongue flattening and swirling across the sensitive head. I heard him suck in a small breath. Needing to taste all of him, I slid my mouth down his long hard shaft. Even nestled in the back of my throat, there was still plenty of length left for my hands to caress. His size surpassed anything I had ever seen before and that included the majority of the internet porn.

And the taste - the taste was salty yet delicate, manly yet sweet. I could live off the taste of him.

I hollowed my cheeks as I moved my mouth up and down his length, my hand following below it. I continued to tease the head and sides with my tongue, my other hand still holding firmly to his pinchable rear. I felt his hand snake its way into my hair, gently gripping it. I heard my name tumble from his pink lips in a low groan as he closed his eyes, trying to ground himself at the feeling of my mouth around him. On my next pass up, I lightly scraped my teeth along the delicate skin. I felt him shiver as he hissed at the action, my eyes, still trained on his face, allowed me to see the utter bliss shown on it.

I moved my hand from its perch on his backside and journeyed towards his front. I gently rubbed up and down the strong muscle of his thigh before dragging my fingertips upwards to stroke and cradle his balls. Before my hands even got to their intended destination I felt a gentle tugging on my hair. I slid my mouth along his length once more before releasing him with a soft pop. Unable to resist, I quickly blew a stream of air across the wet skin causing Edward to jump a little. I smirked as he shot me a glare, the twitching at the corners of his mouth betraying his actions.

"I do believe I was supposed to be making you scream my name right about now," he declared, his tone full of the lust and want that matched the emotion in his eyes.

"Well, you'd better get onto that then," I replied cheekily, grinning as he growled playfully at me.

"Oh, I'm getting onto that, don't you worry," he said with a small snicker.

He walked to the side of the bed, completely comfortable with his naked form.

_With a body and cock like that, who fucking wouldn't!_

I cocked my head to the side and shot him a look of confusion as he picked up a couple of jackets from the floor. He dropped one of them back on the floor and delved into the inside pocket of the other. He pulled out his wallet and the penny dropped. I smiled as he reached inside and pulled out a foil package.

I leaned back onto my elbows and watched as he crawled onto the bed. My eyes didn't miss any detail as they followed his movements, his hand slowly giving his cock a firm pump before rolling the latex down it. He stroked himself a couple more times before leaning forward onto his hands, his body hovering above mine.

My hands reached out and stroked his chest; I couldn't get enough of the feel of his skin under my fingertips. The electricity danced between them. His skin was smooth and soft yet unmistakably masculine. I tilted my head closer to his chest and rubbed my nose amongst the sprinkling of hair, greedily drawing in his scent inhaling deeply.

He chuckled softly. "Is the bouquet to your liking madam?" He asked in a posh British accent.

I giggled as I replied tartly, "You smell almost as good as you taste."

With that he groaned and lowered his body to mine. I gasped as I was engulfed completely in his warmth. I could feel every ridge, every muscle, every hair pressed against me. It felt right. As if I was made to be here with him.

My legs opened of their own accord as his hips settled between them. He pressed his lips to mine as I felt his cock brush across my lower set. I whimpered, desperate for him to shift against me, to provide the friction I was longing for. He nipped at my bottom lip as he brushed a hand across my hardened nipples. His hand continued its descent as he reached between my legs. Edward rubbed his thumb across my clit, causing my hips to buck into his hands. Two slender flingers slid inside me.

"Jesus Bella, so ready for me," he said in a hoarse voice.

He removed his hand and spread the wetness onto his cock. Gripping his shaft tightly he ran the head over my clit before circling my entrance. I bit my lip in nervous anticipation.

_What if he's too big? What if he doesn't fit_?

Concern flashed across his eyes as he saw the nervousness in mine. He kissed me firmly on my lips before placing his lips at my ear.

"Don't worry baby, I'll go slowly," he promised, "for now."

He pulled back and shot me a cocky grin. I started to smile in response but it was wiped off my face and replaced with a look of rapture as I felt the head of his cock nudge inside me. Slowly, inch by inch, he eased himself inside me.

_Damn he is huge!_

"Fuck Bella, you're so warm and tight," Edward moaned.

Edward paused for a moment to allow my body to adjust, the strain of holding back showing in his taut muscles. As I felt my body relaxing to accommodate his size I rocked my hips against his, silently letting him know I was ok.

Edward's lips found their way to the crook of my neck as he licked and sucked on the delicate skin, before starting to move himself inside me. I felt his cock reach everywhere as he moved in and out of me, his pelvic bone brushed against mine on every downward stroke. I hitched my legs around his waist. He groaned as he moved even deeper inside me.

I had never cum from intercourse before, always needing to take care of myself after my partner was finished. As Edward thrust back into me again I knew that was not going to be a problem tonight.

Edward's thrust became harder and more urgent. Whimpers, moans and unintelligible whispers of delight escaped our lips as our hips came together and we rocked back and forth. Edward lifted my hips slightly, the angle allowing his head to graze against my sweet spot.

"Fuck!" I growled as he thrust harder inside me, my hands gripping onto his back, my fingernails dug into his skin as I fought to get him deeper. I could feel the tell-tale tingle and warmth begin, scorching my skin from the inside.

"More," I demanded. "Harder."

"Shit Bella, you're fucking perfect," he grunted. He picked up the pace, thrusting harder and deeper into me. I relished the sound of our skin slapping against each other and echoing through the room.

We were both panting hard, thin layers of sheen coating our bodies as they pushed the other towards climax. I could see Edward's muscles twitching with the force of his movements, his body trying to hold off the impending release.

I bucked my hips in time with his as he slammed his cock into my cunt over and over again. Edward's eyes flashed fire and brimstone as he watched my head loll to the side as my hands tightened their grip on him.

"Jesus fucking shit!" I cried as I felt the waves of warmth start to roll over me. Edward grunted in response as he started to piston himself into me, as his mouth still licked and sucked at my neck.

Suddenly the wave crashed as my orgasm ripped through me, harder than it ever had before.

"Fuck! Edward!" I screamed as he gently bit into my flesh, triggering a second orgasm. I chanted his name over and over again.

Edward pulled away from my neck as his back arched and his head snapped backwards. My name rolled off his tongue in a single prayer as he thrust inside me, getting as deep as he could before grunting through his release.

Completely spent, his head dropped forward onto my chest, both of us panting for breath and devoid of strength. After a moment the noises from downstairs trickled into our consciousness.

I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp, his head still resting on my chest. Thoughts started to become more coherent as I suddenly realised that I had just fucked a strange man in my friend's guest room. I waited for the horror and shame to wash over me. Instead all I felt was comfort and ease.

Edward finally raised his head and brought his lips to mine, enveloping them in a slow soft kiss. He nuzzled his nose against mine, his spicy breath skimming across my face. A gentle smile graced his face as his eyes met mine. My heart stuttered as I saw the happiness and desire still in them, no doubt reflecting mine.

"Hmmm," he pondered, a finger tracing my cheekbone, "it's getting late. It'd probably be best if I escorted you home."

"Why kind sir," I responded, breathily, "how very gallant of you."

Edward groaned as he raised himself from me. I whimpered at the loss as he slid out of me, eliciting a deep chuckle from him. I gathered my clothes and dressed as he wandered to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I watched as he sauntered back in, my eyes wide as I noticed the largeness of his cock even though he was soft. He shook his hips to grab my attention. I blushed as my eyes found the cocky lopsided grin on his face. "My eyes are up here baby," he teased.

"Oh shut it," I bit back, throwing his socks at him. I was amazed at how easy and effortless this was, no post-coital awkwardness at all.

Once we were dressed we headed down the stairs, our hands clasped together. The music was loud and I sighed in relief that they didn't hear the party that happened upstairs. As we headed around the corner we were assaulted with the vision of Lauren and Eric wrapped around each, their mouths trying to swallow the other's face.

"Okaaaaay," Edward said, as he shuddered visibly, "didn't expect that one!"

I leaned in closer to his warm body and pointed to the sprig of leaves above them. "It's amazing what a bit of mistletoe and some truth manipulation can do," I snickered and shook my head in a 'don't ask' gesture.

We moved past the conjoined twins and into the living room. Edward cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Ok, it's late, so I'm going to head off home. Edward's going to make sure I get there safely," I rambled, that damn blush spreading itself across my cheeks.

"Of course he will baby doll," Jasper said with a wink.

_Damn, the music wasn't loud enough apparently._

A huge grin was plastered on Alice's face, happy at the success of her matchmaking efforts.

_Yeah, no thanks to you evil pixie, just you wait until I get you back for Eric!_

We gave hugs and kisses to our friends and wished everyone a Merry Christmas. Edward's hand was back in mine and it felt right. I felt like I would float away in this bubble of happiness. Just as we were about to step through the door into the chilly night air, Jasper's southern drawl rang out.

"Hey Masen, don't forget to call after Christmas! We'll tee up that pool night, just like the old days."

I heard the gasps from my friends behind me as I whirled around to look at Edward, who had frozen at Jasper's statement, my eyes wide and disbelieving. A pained and guilty expression crossed his face before it settled into apprehension.

"Masen?" I screeched. "As in Masen & Cullen Lawyers, Masen?"

"Oh fuck." I heard Jasper curse lowly in the background, surprise evident in his voice. Seems like he'd only just put the pieces together.

_Idiot. Thanks rocket scientist._

"Bella please let me explain," Edward started to plead before I dropped his hand and covered his mouth.

"Just……just take me home Edward," I ground out, my eyes downcast and my voice defeated.

We walked to his car. I couldn't hold in my snort at the sight of the silver Volvo. "Nice car grandpa," I said dryly. I didn't look at him to see his reaction.

I gave him my address and those were the last words spoken during the ride. Carols played through his speakers, reminding me that I left my iPod at Jasper and Alice's.

_Damn, I'll have to get that tomorrow...or should I say later today. Oh and I just fucked my boss. THE boss. The boss that sends employees running and cowering for cover. Better start getting the old resume updated._

As we parked outside the apartment block, Edward turned in his seat to look at me. I was wringing my hands together and chewing on my bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact.

'Please, Bella! I need you to listen to me, I have to explain," Edward pleaded. Despite my better judgement I raised my eyes to meet his. My stiff posture softened slightly as I saw the pain and worry in them.

"Ok," I said quietly, "we'd better go inside where it's warm and I have access to spiked eggnog."

_And kitchen utensils, I can use to bash you over the head with_.

We left the warmth of his car and walked up the steps. Me being me, I slipped on the ice on one of the steps. As I braced myself for the impact with concrete solid warm arms wound around my waist, halting my trajectory in its tracks. My body tingled as he pulled me up, flush with his.

_Traitor!_

I mentally scolded it as I pulled out of his arms and mumbled my thanks. I heard him sigh as he ran his hand through his hair.

Once we were in the apartment I was at a loss of what to say or do.

_Do I start this? Do I say "Hey, is screwing the boss part of the employee benefits program?" Or do I just run and hide until he goes away. Really starting to lean towards plan b right now._

"Ok, so talk," I demanded.

_Huh, well lookie here, this must be plan c!_

"I'm sorry Bella, I really am. I never meant to deceive you," Edward pleaded. As mortified and embarrassed as I was, even I could admit there was nothing but honesty in face and voice. "In fact, I even gave you hints that I knew you better than having just met you."

The look of confusion that was etched on my face encouraged him to continue.

"Think, Miss Swan. I knew your last name for starters."

"Yes, but Alice introduced us so I assumed you just remembered it," I stated confidently.

"No Bella, she only used your first name. Think back," He pleaded.

I shut my eyes as I recalled the moment we were introduced. I gasped as I replayed the scene.

_Fuck, he's right!_

Startled with the revelation, I went over our conversations picking up little things. 'Oh Miss Swan, if only you knew how long I've waited to feel you in my arms like this'.

_Shit._

"But….we've never met?" Still confused, the statement came out as a question.

"No Bella, but I did see your resume before I gave the green light to hire you. You entranced me, even in print. After you started I often walked past your department. The first time I laid eyes on you I felt my world turn on its axis. The way your chestnut hair danced as you walked, the gentle curve of your body and sway of your hips. The wide, melted chocolate eyes, that bore innocence and truth. The pink tint of your cheeks when you were flustered or embarrassed. Those plump rosy lips and the way you bit them when deep in thought. The soft cadence of your voice and the tinkling of your laughter at colleague's jokes. Everything about you drew me in. I wanted to approach you. I tried so hard but my mind kept reminding me that I was Edward Masen." At this he started pacing back and forth, his hands running through his hair as he thought of what to say next. I waited in silence, stunned by his revelations.

"I've heard the rumours about my reputation as a tyrant and was afraid of your rejection; most people run the other way when I approach them. It pisses me off; I 'm not anything like they say. Those rumours were started by a couple of women that couldn't handle my rejection of _their _advances," he spat bitterly.

He stopped pacing and turned towards me, his eyes searching my face.

"Bella, I have wanted you for a long time now. Tonight when I saw you at the party, I was completely shocked and then disappointed that you were with someone."

I interrupted his speech with a quiet snort and shudder at the thought of 'being with' Eric.

"When he sat so close to you I wanted to rip him off his chair and beat him with it."

_Well, that explains that glare_.

"But then you looked at me. You looked at me as though you were attracted to me as much as I was to you. I wanted to tell you before I made love to you but I didn't want you to turn me away. I swear I was planning to tell you when I dropped you home and we were alone. I'm so sorry it came out like it did. But I'm not sorry for anything that happened in that room. I have never, ever felt that way before. I have never felt a connection so strong with anyone before, nothing like I felt with you. You are burned inside every part of me now Bella and I don't want to let that feeling go," he stated more confidently.

"I want this Bella," He said with strength now in his voice, gesturing between us, "I want us."

I sighed quietly. I could see the truth in his eyes. I couldn't deny it. In a quiet voice I asked, "Am I going to lose my job?"

Panicked he rushed forward and held my face between his warm hands.

"No Bella, never! I'm not your direct boss. I'm sure there are about two other department managers that you have to report to first. Besides Carlisle gave his blessing. He knows how I feel about you and said it wasn't a conflict in his eyes if I should ever grow the balls to do something about it. Now I'm doing something about it"

With that he smashed his lips against mine, this one a desperate plea for reassurance and pure need. Gasping for breath we pulled apart. Edward rested his forehead against mine.

"I guess we should have the eggnog now huh?" He asked, his voice still shaky from emotion.

"Screw the eggnog," I said, "pass me the mistletoe!" I pushed Edward backwards and onto the dinning table. Hopping up and crawling over him, I rested myself in his lap, my hips grinding my once again wet pussy against the bulge that began to harden in his pants.

"Tell me," I panted needily, "do you have any problems with defiling me in front of the baby Jesus?" I gestured to the nativity scene next to us.

"Fuck no," he said grinning, "as long as he keeps his hands to himself!"

I leaned forward and kissed the grin right of his face.

I mentally reminded myself to head to the mall in the morning.

_There's a jolly red fat man I need to find to thank for granting me my Christmas wish_!


End file.
